And I think it can be really harmful, because it doesn't permit space for a multitude of experiences, some of which can be bad - not because the relationship is a lesbian relationship, but because somebody in the relationship is not well. But I think you have a lot of people sort of translate this into, "women aren't capable of hurting each other," or "women aren't capable of abusing each other." Lesbian relationships are the fantasy, the ideal - I would say that I think lesbians and queer women perpetrate that that idea. But my sort of day-to-day life, I don't really have to deal with it, because I'm married to a woman, and that's just not part of my experience right now, which is actually really lovely. I always talk about how in my relationship, like, obviously the patriarchy affects me in all kinds of ways. There's this idea that not having men present in a relationship takes a certain kind of stress off, which sexually is actually true. Book Reviews 'Her Body And Other Parties:' Be Your Own Madwoman
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